Funny Stuff...

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Fri, 06/09/2006 - 10:18 — admin

Ok...we want to hear from you. More specifically, we want to hear your favorite "Southwest-isms" on a recent (or even not-so-recent) flight you've been on.

For example... On a recent flight to Baltimore, the pilot came over the loudspeaker and said, "Ladies and Gentleman, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The bad news is ...it's raining and 40 degrees in Baltimore right now. The good news is...I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

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One of my favorites of all time was after a hard landing:

"Sorry folks for the hard landing.
It wasn't the captain's fault.
It wasn't the first officer's fault.
It wasn't the plane's fault.
It was the ASPHAULT!"

Dave — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 15:36

I was on a flight home from AUS in March, with a plane change in DAL. One of the flight attendants on the flight from DAL home said as we were just about to the gate, "On your mark, get set..." Then he said when we stopped, "Like your mom said when you're 18, get your bags and get out!" Also, the pilots were having fun too, making funny noises in the cockpit. I could hear them over the PA system.

Leah J — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 16:33

On a recent flight the flight attendants said "can we have your attention, or pretend to have
your attention. In case you are displeased with our service there are six exits aboard
this aircraft...

Francisco Delgado — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 17:09

On a flight from Manchester to Orlando last week, our flight attendant sang "Happy Trails" to everyone over the speaker as we landed.

Cynthia — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 17:10

My favorite was the guy running up to the Gate Agent crying, "Do I have time to go to the bathroom before the flight leaves?" And the Gate Agent replies, "I don't know, I've never timed you."

Amy Bradt (Technology - SAAS Development #5924) — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 17:59

On a flight from New Orleans to Houston:
"Your bags will be available on carrousel x. If you do not find them, they will be available in 2-3 weeks on eBay."

Tom — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 18:57

My very first flight on Southwest was in 1987 from Phoenix to either Oakland, or SFO...can't remember, but the FA said as we were boarding, "You can pick your seat, and you can pick your neighbor, but please don't pick your neighbor's seat." Only reluctantly have I ever flown any other company since then.

Terry Lessig — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 20:40

My favorite was the flight attendent over the speaker phone just before take off: "In order to enhance the appearance of your flight crew, we will be dimming the cabin lights."

John G — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 20:57

"There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only six ways to leave this airplane" is one that has always stuck with me. And jaded frequent flyer that I am, it still made me listen to the rest of the safety announcement.

Curtis — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 21:27

On an evening flight from OMA to MDW, one of my favorite lines from a flight attendant was this. "We will now be dimming the cabin lights. If you need reading lights, press the button with the picture of the lightbulb and it will turn the light on. Please note that pressing the button with the picture of the flight attendant does not turn the flight attendant on."

Priceless.

Sam W — Fri, 06/09/2006 - 21:53

I remember a simple one-liner from a Southwest pilot just before the plane pulled away from the gate:

"keep your tush in the cush until we push"

Mel — Sat, 06/10/2006 - 01:55

This one's an oldie but a goodie. During the safety announcement, "Should this flight turn into a cruise, your seat cushion can
be used for floatation."

And also when we were taxiing to the gate after landing, we stopped, but not at the gate, and a couple seat belts could be heard
un-clicking. The flight attendant said "Ladies and gentlemen, anybody who stands up before the captain turns off the fasten
seat belt sign is volunteering to stay after the flight and help us clean the plane." Nobody got up until they were good and sure
that the seatbelt sign was off.

Jen — Sat, 06/10/2006 - 04:53

Back in March, I blogged about a flight attendant's announcement on my customer service blog. I'd tell you what she said, but I need the page views:-)
Read it here: http://www.allbusiness.com/blog/CustomerServiceExperience/10783/004307.h...

Glenn — Sat, 06/10/2006 - 18:37

On a flight from PDX to SMF, during the safety announcement, the flight attendant said that "there is a smoking section, over the wing, at that the movie that was currently playing was, Gone with the Wind."

On an additional flight two months later, the same routing, when we landed that flight attendant made the announcement "please remain seated as no one has ever beat the plane to the gate."

Kolin — Sun, 06/11/2006 - 01:05

I'm a flight attendant for Southwest and recently flying across the country the Captain made an anouncement that there will be a
small window to view the Grand Canyon off the left side of the plane (because it was cloudy). Well a young lady got out
of her seat, came to the back and looked out the small round window in the door and asked "is this the small window he was
talking about"

Jennifer — Sun, 06/11/2006 - 18:04

On a flight to Texas during spring break, one flight attendant said as we were approaching the gate:

"Please be careful when retrieving your luggage and personal belongings from the overhead bins. Shift happens."

Jason — Sun, 06/11/2006 - 19:33

We landed a bit early and the FA came over the speaker: "We got you here roughly 25 minutes early. So next time you fly Southwest and we happen to be running late, remember that you owe us 25 minutes."

Jeff — Mon, 06/12/2006 - 13:28

After a long flight from Albuquerque to Orlando, we endured an even longer trek from touchdown to our gate. The flight attendant eased the pain a bit by quipping: "In Southwest's tireless efforts to save you money on this flight, the pilots have landed in Tampa and are taxiing to Orlando via Interstate 4."

Jessica S. — Mon, 06/12/2006 - 17:10

Arriving about 30 minutes late into Las Vegas, the flight attendant manufactured some statistics for our amusement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, as you know, Southwest Airlines is dedicated to saving you money when you travel. The average gambler in Las Vegas loses $50 dollars for every hour of his or her vacation in Las Vegas. Since we have arrived half an hour late, the dedicated staff and crew on this flight has saved each and every one of you an additional $25.00 today. Enjoy your stay."

Jim — Mon, 06/12/2006 - 17:29

On a flight from PVD to BWI, when people were standing in the aisle, I heard "Put your tush in the cush so we can push".
On a flight from BWI to MCO (or maybe it was from MCO back to BWI) I heard:
"Give the guy next to you a hug, give your seat belt a tug, so we can get this Boeing to Chug"

Mayer Zimmerman — Tue, 06/13/2006 - 13:03

On a flight from LAS to PHX a few weeks ago:

"This Boeing's-a-going! We're first for takeoff."

Cory Newkirk — Tue, 06/13/2006 - 15:24

June 4th HOU-DAL flt 11. During the safety briefing. "Ladies and Gentlemen, federal law prohibits the dismantling or tampering
with the smoke detectors - or webcams - in our lavatories." Those who were paying attention thought it was hilarious!

Another one, a few years back from AUS to HOU. We had just taken off and seemed to be climbing very steeply. The front cabin
flight attendant grabbed peanut packs and started tossing them down the aisle all the way to the back! She said "It's a short flight
folks, here's your peanuts." Awesome.

Paul — Wed, 06/14/2006 - 16:38

On a (not so full flight) from LIT to DAL the Captain announced on the intercom "if the window seat is open on your row please move to it so that when we pass by Delta over there they will think that our planes are full!" I thought that was great!

Stephanie Moss — Thu, 06/15/2006 - 06:14

A few years back, my favorite experience on a flight...We were flying over Colorado, when there were many forrest fires. The Capt. came over the PA, and mentioned that if we smelled any smoke it was due to the large fires burning below. He stated that if we looked outside of the aircraft to the right, we could see the fires below. Then about 30 seconds later, as the plane dipped a little to the right, he said "not everyone at once, you'll tip the plane." That was hillarious!

TF — Thu, 06/15/2006 - 06:42

On a flight from Dallas to Kansas City, the flight attendant was thanking us
for flying SW and to always remember..."nobody lovey you and your money
more than Southwest Airlines."

Rick — Fri, 06/16/2006 - 00:45

I am a Reservations Sales Agent. A few years back when we started expanding our service on the East coast, I received a call from a gentleman checking fares and schedules between Providence and Ft. Lauderdale. When I priced his selected flights and gave him the fare for the round trip, our fare was "SO GREAT" He ask what type of aircraft he would be flying on. Jokingly I answered that it would be a paper airplane! He said excuse me, what kind? Once again I replied it was a paper airplane. He then told me he had never heard of that type of airplane. At that time he realized what I had said. After the laughter stopped, He was very happy and relieved when I advised him that we only had 737 jet service!

Dorie Romano — Fri, 06/16/2006 - 01:15

My sister and I frequently travel from MCI to MCO (and of course vice versa.) The night flights are always the best b/c you get a great 2 hr 45 min nap. On one flight, the pilot made a wake up announcement as the plane landed "Welcome to Hawaii everyone. We finally made it." People just looked around and outside at the palm trees thinking seriously, where did the pilot just take us?!? As we pulled into the gates, the pilot made one last announcement "I hope your trip to Hawaii, OOppppssss, I mean the next best place, ORLANDO, is a wonderful trip!!!!"

Michelle — Sat, 06/17/2006 - 05:24

On a trip from MCI to DAL the F/A's were preparing to do their safety routine. The F/A on the PA system (male) announced the other 2 assisting F/A's, "In the front we have my wife of 2 years, (name here), and in the rear we have my girlfriend, (name here), we've only been together for 3 months folks." After the laughing had quieted down he said, "No, seriously... if I had a wife or girlfriend, my husband would KILL me!"

I think this caught ALL the passengers a little off guard for a moment and then the plane just filled with roaring laughter. It was great! The expression on the other two F/A's was just priceless.

I've always thought that the inflight crew really do a wonderful job in making sure that all Customers (internal and external) are well taken care of and comfortable (well.. as comfortable as we can be with the seat in it's "upright and most uncomfortable position"). Great job guys/gals!!!

Sean — Mon, 06/19/2006 - 18:55

Several years ago enroute to Oklahoma City for a football game and onboard the connection out of Houston the pilot came on and said, I understand we have some Alabama fans onboard today. There was about 40 of us. Next he gave us a big Roll Tide Roll over the PA.
He made a lot of friends for SWA that day.

Craig — Wed, 06/21/2006 - 20:30

I thought of one I could say when I'm an FA, & that is (when we arrive at the gate), "Okay, let's make like a banana & split!" Ha, ha. :)

Leah J — Wed, 06/21/2006 - 21:24

Over the years, I've heard enough songs (some good and some, well, not-so-good) and jokes (mostly groaners) to fill a book. I've heard about 95% of the ones listed above at one time or another. But the one that I choose to post here involved The Grand Canyon, much like Jennifer's post above.

As we approached the gorgeous and famous National Park, the pilot came on the PA system with this announcement:

"For those of you on the left side of the plane, in just a moment, you'll be able to all lean over and look out your side of the plane and see the beautiful Grand Canyon."

(pause)

"For those of you on the right side of the plane, in just a moment, you'll be able to look to your left and see the rear ends of the other passengers."

Half of us got a lovely view that day...

Kim :)

Kim Seale — Thu, 06/22/2006 - 14:41

On a flight between MCI and LAX, the pilot kept giving the weather report like this:

"...it's a beautiful day in LA with the temperature at 75 degrees and the wind is blowing out of our favorite direction, Southwest, at 10 miles per hour..."

Travis — Thu, 06/22/2006 - 18:48

After a hard landing in Austin the Flight Attendant announced "Well, we just hit Austin".

DC — Thu, 06/22/2006 - 21:37

On a flight from Lubbock TX to Austin: FA said in the unlikely event that we can find water to land on, please know that your cushion acts as a floation device.

rose v — Fri, 06/23/2006 - 14:25

Please, oh please keep the "call" open seating! I use SWA at least three times amonth and need my A pass! I really do stand a better chance getting the seat I want this way. It has worked for me all of these years and I really, really do not need or want to it to stop--Brent

brent — Fri, 06/23/2006 - 19:31

Going from Albuquerque to Portland : "In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device, so
take it with our compliments, and paddle, paddle, paddle, all the way to Portland."

brian — Fri, 06/23/2006 - 19:43

On a morning flight from DAL to AMA many years ago, the FAs decided to do an onboard contest to give away some small promotional prizes (inflatable planes, some playing cards, a $25.00 voucher [which at that time was about 50% of the cost of a ticket for that route!!], etc.)

They called for volunteers to come up front and sing "Amarillo by Morning" by memory. I recall several not-so-successful attempts that were a bit painful to watch (and listen to...) before one gentleman got up and just NAILED it. He sang the entire song from memory and knew all of the words. If the "fasten seat belt" light hadn't been on, we would have all given him a standing ovation!

Now THAT'S how to have fun on an airline and to get your passengers to LUV you!
Kim

Kim Seale — Sat, 06/24/2006 - 05:07

While working at the Gates one night, we had severe weather in Chicago and had a few delays...One customer approached me and said what is the problem with my Chicago flight?...I informed her that we had severe weather in the area and her flight to Chicago was delayed, she then replied , "Well I just got off the phone with my sister in Chicago and she said it was bright and sunny at her house". I then replied,,"Well, hmm....give me her address and I"ll have the Captain land at her house"...she laughed along with everyone else at the gate counter......I JUST LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!! SOUTHWEST GIVES ME THE FREEDOM TO BE FUNNY!!!!!!!!

Lynne Steer — Sat, 06/24/2006 - 13:42

I am all for assigned seating. It will make the process go smoothier. But lets talk about something more important. THE AIRLINE
SCHEDULE. All of the other major airlines have flight schedules out up to at least march maybe even april. Southwest is only up
to October. That is terrible ! I am trying to book a group trip to the NBA all-star game 2007 and the flight times aren't even out yet.
What makes it even worst, Southwest is the Official sponsor of the NBA !
I could go to UsAirways because they are the only other airline that flys from bwi to las non-stop. But I want to go with southwest
because of the price and time flexibility. So lets work on being up to speed with other airlines with the flight schuedule and
assign seating.

Jennifer — Sat, 06/24/2006 - 19:41

I am a nervous when it comes to flying. The flight attendents Brooke and Mark made me feel very at ease. During our long hall from Louisville, Kentucky to LA I started to engage in conversation to Mark during the flight. Mark found out that I was flying to California
because my grandmother had passed away. My mother and grandfather were also on the flight. Mark talked to my family
throughout the flight.

To make a long story short, he is flying here to spend a couple of days to see what will come out of this. We know that whatever happens that we each will have a new Best Friend! You never know who will come across your path.

Hugs and Kisses to Mark!

Love Always,

Cindy

Cindy — Sat, 07/01/2006 - 22:47

Several years ago on a flight from OKC to MCI a flight attendant brought out an old-fashioned train whistle and blew it over the intercom during take-off.

Dan — Mon, 07/03/2006 - 19:33

As a former flight attendant with SWA, I was pretty new in my career and wasn't used to sleeping in different cities every night. During one flight, I was talking with one of the passengers about waking up that morning and not knowing where I was. He replied, "Occupational Hazard?"

kat s. — Fri, 07/07/2006 - 00:49

Hi everybody, sorry for the "invasion".
I'm an English teacher from Brazil, and I'm working on the creation of a book containing vocabulary hints for students to know what to do in some real-life situations, such as ordering a meal at a restaurant, buying something at a shop, checking in at a hotel etc.
And I was wondering if you flight attendants could help me by simply giving me some suggestions of common dialogues that usually happen on a plane - people offering/asking for things, crew instructions and so on. The ideia is to make everybody's life easier. Would you be kind enough to do that?
My e-mail is neypereira@gmail.com
Thank you very, very much in advance.

Ney — Tue, 01/30/2007 - 21:51

friends are like flowers.... they make your life more joyeous and worth living

micheal — Wed, 01/31/2007 - 09:45

MANCHESTER-BALTIMORE, August, 2007: As arriving, stewardess said keep seatbelts on until we come to a full stop at the gate. As plane taxiing to gate to let us off stewardess said "I shouldn't be hearing any seatbelts now". When plane was at a full stop at the gate, she said "Now get out."

Terry — Tue, 08/28/2007 - 20:36

When you are in the military on your way back home from Iraq, the airplane was full of Marines thinking about the family and friends we hadnt seen for months, the hours seem endless. This was a plain full of Marines, over 300 of us flying from Kwuait to California with 4 layovers along the way. The flight attendant crews (we had 3 different ones) made jokes the whole way through, making the flight a little less tense. When one of the attendants over the loud speaker asked if we were cold needed the heat adjusted she would be glad to set it to 140 degrees for us...

The best part was when one of the crews was doing the safety brief, they selected a few of the Marines in the airplane to act out as flight attendants while the crew member narrated... these male Marines, rough and tough from months of war and heat got to get up there and pretend to be flight attendants, it was hilarious to see them act femininish... they kept messing up on the flotation device ect... the whole crew was great that flight as if our exitment of coming home was contagious to them.

Zandy — Fri, 10/05/2007 - 17:58

The first time I flew SWA as we were taxi-ing for take off the Flight attendant turned on the intercom and all we heard was "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" and as we finally had lift off we hear "I CAN". Everyone on the plance laughed and cheered.

Anonymous — Fri, 01/16/2009 - 18:18

Hi quietone,
It has taken awhile, but we are down to a matter of weeks before we will have e-mail contacts. We'vve beeen busy upgrading all of our computer systems, and the problem wasn't accepting e-mails--any PC can do that, it was setting up how we handled and responded. That process is in its final wrapup.
Brian

Brian Lusk — Fri, 02/20/2009 - 07:41

Hi Brian,

I see that they took off the email statement from the Southwest web site.

Can you remove BOTH of my comments "Here is a question for Southwest Airlines' Administration?" and "The person who designed the Southwest Airlines web site should take a "logic" lesson."?

I would like also make a suggestion. "Comment viewing options" in the bottom of the web page should default to "newest first". No one wants to read first about a comment put years ago .

Cheers

Alwaysthequietone — Tue, 03/03/2009 - 10:02

Quiet one, per your request, I pulled the comments. Thanks for your suggestion about placing the most recent comment first. While some blogs use that format, most seem to follow our method of most recent at the bottom. There are pros and cons to both, but for most folks, the general reading pattern is to read down the page to the bottom.
Brian

Brian Lusk — Tue, 03/03/2009 - 10:55

After hearing about the Rapping Flight Attendant and searching online (because I missed it on CNN) the YouTube clips (a four-part set) were FANTASTIC. (look up "Dave the Rappin Flight Attendant")

On a simlar note, I remember about a year (or two) ago on a California intrastate flight the FA giving the safety briefing was THE BEST I'D EVER HEARD (at least until Dave the Rapping FA, now they're tied)... it caught me off guard and most of his spiel has since dissipated from my memories, but I can still remember comments like "We never expect a loss of cabin pressure - otherwise we wouldn't work here - ..." His delivery and timing were EXCEPTIONAL and to this day I WISH I would catch him again on one of my flights.

My last item is one that I can't remember if it was on Southwest or one of the small airlines that used to serve intra-California (maybe PSA?)... It was small and quick, but nonetheless COOL. During our taxi to the departure runway, instead of saying we'd been cleared for departure, the pilot came on and said "Flight Attendants prepare for Warp Speed". Then as we turned on to the runway and stopped before powering up, when we were ready to go the pilot obviously STOOD on the brakes, ran up the engines to what seemed like FULL THROTTLE and then after about 5 seconds, let the brakes go and we all got pushed back into our seats as we took off. It was hilarious and exhilarating and it makes me wonder if our pilot had flown off of carriers in the Navy :)

Frankly in this day in age (technologically speaking) I would hope that Southwest taps into the spirit AND especially humor that is now UNIQUE in the industry and puts effort into posting as many of these types of clips as possible. (i.e. OFFICIALLY)

In other words, take the whole Web 2.0 thing even further, I'd certainly appreciate it!

Oh and please send me an email if you ever start having a SOUTHWEST SAFETY BRIEFINGS section of the blog site... :)

Matt

Matthew Kus — Sun, 03/15/2009 - 03:02

There were two comments that I thought were rather funny....I was on a flight from Phoenix to Pittsburgh on March 30th..the 355p. The first comment was "....and just incase this flight turns into a cruise, your seat may be used as a flotation device..."...the other was about the oxygen. Can't remember exactly how he worded but it was like..."parents put your oxygen mask on first and then assist your child with theirs, if you have two children, pick your favorite". It was a riot.

Susan — Thu, 04/02/2009 - 09:13

Ive flown SWA several times but the best was today on a short flight from Ft Myers to Orlando. The flight attendant announced as we taxi'd on the runway that there was no time to hand out drinks and peanuts. As the plane lifted off she opened several big bags with smaller bags of peanuts in them and started throwing them down the aisle. The angle of the plane sent these bags of peanuts flying down the aisles. As you looked down the aisle you could see passengers scooping up bags of peanuts the whole way to the back of the plane. Hilarious!!!!

CAllen — Wed, 06/24/2009 - 20:47

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