Believe it or not, I've got "writer's block."
Certainly not as it pertains to "Nuts About Southwest," of course–I can always find something to share with you guys–nor does it pertain to my work. Trust me, the Schedule Planning Department is hummin' these days, and the only difficulty I'm having in writing up studies and reports is trying to find at least a little humor to "punch up" the otherwise bone-dry (but interesting!) content.
The problem is that I have the most important speaking engagement in my life coming up. I'm the Best Man in the wedding of my son, Officer Owen, and I am struggling MIGHTILY to write the Best Man's toast. And yes, I'm writing the toast, in advance, treating it as a speech. I do not trust my brain to fully deliver instructions to my mouth before my mouth decides to start speaking on such an important occasion. Don't get me wrong, I usually enjoy speaking extemporaneously, but sometimes words just start flowing before my grey matter has finished delivering instructions, particularly when I'm stressed, emotional, or trying to multi-task.
Take the incident a few years ago, when I was carrying an armload of food into the breakroom that my Department shares with the Revenue Management group. Unbeknownst to me the R.M. folks were having a staff meeting in there, so as I struggled through the door, my arms laden with food containers, 28 startled heads turned my way. I swear, in my head, I remember starting to say "Don't mind me!" and for some reason half way through I switched to "Don't let me bother you!" Unfortunately, what I actually said was a cheery and booming "Don't bother me!" Or, for a more recent example, yesterday I was discussing details of the upcoming nuptials, and the question that I intended to ask was "how many invitations are you sending out for the wedding?" In true form, what actually came out of my mouth was, "how many invitations are you sending out for the funeral?" To make matters worse, I was talking to my future daughter-in-law at the time.
So for the wedding–the toast should be scripted. That's not the problem. The blockage is over what the script will say. I hardly think I'll be holding myself up as a paragon of wedded bliss, as the Officer's mom and I have been divorced for many years now. But there are things I can, and do, want to tell the newlyweds–things I feel intensely and deeply about. Principles that have guided me for years...like the binding power of love. The healing power of laughter. The destructive power of anger. And the redemptive power of forgiveness.
Or, maybe, I should simply toast their future and offer some guidelines for success, many of which my Mom and Dad taught me. Obvious things, like figure out what you like to do, and then find a way to make a living doing it. I certainly have done it–16 years and counting at the best airline in the world!–and I hope they can find similar fulfillment. Or maybe a tip you can only learn from experience, such as never, ever cook a steak more than medium-rare (the Gods weep at brown, dry meat). Or perhaps just some simple "user instructions" for a marriage–like "IF YOU HAVE TO LIFT A LID, PUT IT DOWN WHEN YOU'RE DONE." (This applies both in the bathroom and in the kitchen)
I don't know…maybe I will just speak, extemporaneously, from the heart. Maybe I've said all I need to say over the past 23 years, as has the Officer's mom, and as have the parents of the future Mrs. Officer Owen. Maybe a simple "health, wealth, and happiness" toast will be best. Hopefully, we parental types will have many years to offer gentle reinforcement of previous lessons...and those same future years to learn new lessons, together. Six weeks to go until the wedding--and yes, now I think I know what I'm going to say. And if you have any advice for my toast, or for the kids....please post them as replies. I'll make sure they get them. What a cool, and unexpected, wedding gift that will be!
Comments
interesting
Bill, I gotta say, you "nailed" the Best Man's Toast! Very inspirational words indeed, for Mr. and Mrs. Officer Owen, and the guests in attendance. I may for you to write them down for me. Unfortunately, my "forgetter" works much better than my "rememberer".
It was a pleasure to meet you and it was definitely an honor to be in attendance at your son's wedding and share in their joy. They looked so happy and excited together. The reception was a blast too. ;)
I agree that a brief comment will carry the day more than even a short speech.
Try: Heres to the best son and man could have and his lovely wife, may they have a lifetime of joy.
As a retired Deputy Sheriff Lt. (33 1/2 years) I wish your son the best and hope he will always be vigilant.
"Brevity is the soul of wit" - I recommend keeping it to "To my best friend". That will be memorable. Anything longer than a sentence will surely be forgotten by most.
I met both you and your son once on a very memorable day, a long time ago. Please send him my congratulations.
If by officer you mean police officer, that will make two of you who have followed you passions.
Oh man, at least you'll be there! My best man for our wedding had a spinal tap 4 days before the wedding and it never closed up. Needless to say, I rushed him to the ER 2 days before the wedding. I had one best man and 3 additional groomsmen. One of my groomsman who took over the best man speech for him did a great off-the-cuff job, but I definitely don't recommend it!
I'm sure you'll do GREAT!
And for a gift you can offer them a few non-revenue space available passes!!!!!! Give the gift of flying standby! LOL!
Bill,
Ya know, I've read and re-read your newest blog post a number of times, trying to think of what to say. My failure to respond has not been due to lack of interest at all, but being puzzled as to how to answer. You and I have only met once briefly, but as a father of two, I "feel your pain"! LOL
First, I think it is an incredible honor to be asked to be your son's best man. That speaks VOLUMES about what sort of father you are and of the quality of the relationship that you share! Congratulations on that!! Not knowing your son makes it harder for me to offer a suggestion, but building on the basis that he feels that close to you, I'd offer these ideas:
a.) express your pride at being his Dad
b.) express your gratitude at being selected best man
c.) offer your hopes/wishes/prayers for a long and loving marriage
d.) express your desire that some day Tyler will have as terrific of a son and as great of a relationship with him as you've been blessed to have with Tyler.
e.) then sit down as quickly as you can since this is "their" time in the spotlight and not yours!
I am sure that you'll do just fine, although I cannot say the same for myself. As sentimental and emotional as I am about my own kids, I've forbidden my daughter from ever getting married, because I bawled and blubbered like a baby at her college graduation and I'd NEVER make it through a wedding!
Best wishes to you and especially to Tyler and the future Mrs. Owen,
Kim :)
Bill - I can't believe you are without words!! I'm sure you will come up with something witty and charming. Tell Tyler I wish him well on his upcoming wedding celebration.
See ya soon!
James
Bill, I admit that I'm a complete sap, but reading your post choked me up a little. I, too, can't imagine you at a loss for words, and I know you will do a FANTASTIC job giving the toast at your son's wedding. You MUST inlcude something about the principles you're passionate about...just reading you write about the binding power of love; the healing power of laughter; the destructive power of anger; and the redemptive power of forgiveness gave me goosebumps. I've been happily married for over 10 years now, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Good luck, my friend. You will be great. =)
Toni,
I bet I know who the *last* person Mer could ever imagine being at a loss for words....HER!!! And thanks to you, and the rest, for the good wishes.
And SMS (her other nickname, other than Mer, is "Sing Mary Sing")...I've already got it written down. In a pinch--I'll use it! Just don't expect a byline. :)
Bill
Bill, thank you for bringing me to tears (of laughter) so early in the morning. I can feel your pain as I share your afflication of blurting merged thoughts before the edit button kicks in.
In spite of what may come out of your mouth, your son will,no doubt, feel your pride and know the LUV that surrounds the toast and your blessings for the couple...and based on your blogs, you will do a stellar job of delivering a message that means alot to them both. Best of Luck on the big day!
Mer,
who is the LAST person you could imagine being at a loss for words??